A glimpse from the past memories of Status Updates..
Many Thanks to All my Folks on Facebook! :-)
Hi, i'm Hitler, nomnomnom Jews!
Hi, i'm Lady GaGa, nomnomnom rosary beads!
Hi, i'm puberty, nomnomnom Justin Beiber's career!
When I fill out a form that says "in case of an emergency, please notify", I always put "DOCTOR",,What the hell is my mother going to do?
Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty had their happy endings until they discovered they're all married to the same guy -> Prince Charming
s :Long ago, Men who sacrificed their luv, youth, parents, identity, laughter and happines were called SAINTS! Now they are called HUSBANDS!!
commented on his photo, "you are amazing!"
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
got a Rolex for his birthday from the lesbians next door. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch
kinda likes ceilings. Maybe I'll become a fan.
--^v--^v--^v--^v-_____^v--^v--^v-- For a second there, I was bored to death
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud !
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
is aware that alcohol is not the answer to her problems, but you know, neither is milk.
is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
wonders if Kanye West is gunna show up to Patrick Swayze's funeral, cut off the preacher, and say MJ had the best death of the year!
dreams of a better world...where chicken can cross the road without having their motives questioned!
is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years!
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn't surprising really, since it isn't my birthday.
I tried to see it from your view but I can't get my head that far up my a*se
English classes would be much easier if Shakespeare's mum had an abortion
If I had all the money I spent on drink... I'd spend it on drink!
On a scale of Anne Frank to Osama Bin Ladin, how good was my hiding place?
When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.
Why is it when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a deserted island?" , no one ever replies, "A BOAT?
is wondering what the person who discovered milk was doing with the cow?
Facebook is the only place where its acceptable to talk to a wall
"I love your hair!" "Thanks, I grew it myself."
”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
Dear Pringles, Now that I am no longer a child, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Work on that
Got a problem with me? solve it. Think im trippin? tie my shoe. Cant stand me? sit down. Cant face me? turn around an start walking!
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! Who died in an oil spill cause of BP, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
wishes people would either stick to first or third person in their status updates and I'm hungry.
is as bored as a midget in a theme park....
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other!
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks.. why is there a light in the fridge?
In the Beginning, God made the Heaven and Earth. The rest was Made in China!